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Night Runners

February 11, 2013

Hey, Mr. Night/Early morning runner that frequents the main roads…get off the damn road!

This also means all the old men who think they are training to be Lance Armstrong. I go to gym, and I like to get my cardio in as much as the next guy. What I don’t feel the need to do is go for a midnight run with a bike helmet and skin-tight reflective man panties.  These dudes even put a freaking flashlight on their helmet and ass, so you think they are like escaped coal mine workers running down the street…lol. You have seen these guys, they run like 6 feet away from the curb…not really in the middle of road, but still in the damn road. They can manage to position their asses just slightly in the road…so you have to slow down to keep from killing them. They have no problem running down the damn road, completely oblivious to the cars and the world around them. That is right, nothing will stop Mr.Night Runner from getting that midnight cardio session in. What’s is sad, is if you were to hit one of these poor bastards…you will most likely go to jail! I feel like if you didn’t purposefully position your ass in the road in the first place. You could help your chances of getting killed by a 16-year-old girl going down the subdivision road jamming to Kesha, in her daddy’s BMW. Let us be honest here, how many of these dark knight athlete’s actually look in good shape? Just go to the park and run, where it is safe. Please don’t get me wrong, go forth and exercise. Just try not to get killed or enrage a swarm of transporters while you get your cardio in…that is the word Night Runner!

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8 Comments
  1. The night runner is always fucking creepy looking, too. Half the time I think they’re only running at night because they just got done peeking in someone’s window for the three previous hours. I run early in the morning, but I stay on the sidewalk where runners belong.

    • The nerve of these guys/ladies is what kills me. Just because you have a reflective vest and some nike free runs does not mean your safe.

  2. Uh, you forgot about the insanely annoying cyclists who think they belong in the right lane….up a long hill. Bastards.

    • Some of those bikers just don’t give a shit. I think some of them want to get tagged and sue folks;) thanks for the comment !

      • I probably shouldn’t tell you this… would you believe that a comment of my desire to hit a “certain” cyclist, landed me into court?

  3. I used to do near-midnight runs in Mexico City. I only did it because I lived right smack-dab in the city center and there were no tracks I could run on close by so I chose the streets. No traffic at that hour and I always kept on the sidewalk. I stay on the shoulder when I ride my bike but some people still try and drive about 5 inches from me.

    There are idiots everywhere. And me being a triathlete, I just hope we don’t end up killing each other.

    • I was worried you would be mad at this post;) it’s more of the unconscious senior runners or the high School cross country teams that run with a death wish that bother me. Some of these cats are mighty brave.

      • Don’t worry, Mike. I think we’ve been blogger friends long enough for me to know that you wouldn’t be mean to me. Plus I know your humor.

        And yeah, I sometimes hate those road hog bastards too. And they’re part of my tribe!

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