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Are these Your Keys?

February 3, 2013

All right crazy key chain lady, I am calling your ass out. I hate to only stereotype the ladies here, but it’s my experience that todays’ blog pertains to the ladies.  What the hell is with these women who have the 100 piece Swiss Army knife key chain rig going?

You all have seen these people, you may even be one of these people. When did the car keys and car remote, not suffice as really all you need?  If your ass has a lot of money your car probably does not even have a key. So why in the hell do you feel the need to have a veritable orgy of accessories on your key chain. They are all the same, they usually consist of a base rope clip or a CD size key ring. This is followed by the department store mini cards…and these ladies usually have a shit ton. They own mini cards from stores that are not even in existence anymore: Blockbuster, Service Merchandise, Zares, and Baby Gap just to name a few. T

he key chain will usually have pictures of the kids, all six of them posing with Mickey fucking Mouse…really? Let us not forget the keys, my lord the keys these women have. It’s always one extreme or the other isn’t it. They will have like 150 keys, as if they own a college dorm in their spare time. Sometimes these women will have just one lone key, maybe two. Then take your pick  you will almost always find: pepper spray, vacation thimbles, a sassy Panama City slogan about men, bottle opener, screwdriver, condom pocket, mini flask, and a digital picture frame like a 2×2.

So to the lady I saw at the gym holding the key chain nunchucks, please put that shit away! I am starting a new law in 2013.

No person can have more than 3 pieces of flair of his/her key chains…that is the word. Go Ravens!!!

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From → You Ever Notice?

3 Comments
  1. I’m this woman. My key chain looks like a high school janitor’s.

  2. haha I am proud that I only have two keys on my chain at the moment!

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