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Magic Dust

October 22, 2012

Who wants to lose weight and be healthy? Pretty much everybody right! The problem lies in the fact that you must exercise and make solid food choices to maintain a healthy lifestyle…or do you? According to the makers of Sensa, the new weight loss product, all you need is a little magic dust.

Let me explain

Basically, Sensa is a weight loss product that claims to work, because Sensa activates your “taste receptors” telling your body it’s time to stop eating. All you have to do to achieve weight loss is sprinkle some “skinny bitch dust” on your prepared food and BOOM instantly you’re satisfied! Sensa researchers tried for years to find the right item that people could sprinkle on their food to prevent over eating and activate these taste receptors. Sadly, advanced testing using pencil shavings, beard hair, dandruff flakes, plain old dust, fertilizer, and boogers proved to help curb your appetite when sprinkled over food, but would not sell on the open market. Turns out all these items would help suppress your desire to over eat, but they were deemed unpleasant to the taste receptors. With Sensa it’s easy, you simply walk into your favorite restaurant and order the same old fatty foods as always. Next, you will simply douse the food with what appears to be crack in a Zip-Lock bag onto your double Whopper. Shortly after a few bites, the Sensa dust goes to work! This typically leaves the person with a severe feeling of depression and lowered self-esteem. Users also reported a feeling of anger because they just ruined their perfectly good/expensive food;(

So if you think Sensa will work for you, please give it a try. In the meantime, feel free to mail me any extra cash that you don’t need and I will be happy to dispose of it for a nominal fee. Don’t be a dumbass! Being healthy is a lifestyle choice not a bag of fiery dust…That is The Word.


From → Really? Really?

  1. As a person who lost 35 lbs last year, I can assure you it is fricking hard to lose weight and it pisses me off that there are those who ask me about my diet and say, “was it hard?” No bitch, it was sooooooo easy so that even your lazy, non-commital ass can drop the 100 lbs that you’re toting in two seconds! I hate that they try to sell the magic cure when what a person really needs to do is put in the footwork and get stepping. But banking on the laziness of people, companies make money and that includes pharma. I knew someone who worked for a major pharmaceutical and said that if people would just exercise and eat right from their 30s on, there would be no need to buy her drugs.

    Imagine that…

    • Congrats on the weight loss! People straight throw away money on countless quick fixes, but you, re right, you have to put in the hard work. Sprinkling some bullshit on the food you eat is maybe the dumbest idea yet. Oh well I gtg do my 2 min ab video to prepare for my hard body competition:)

  2. Hahaha! Love this post. People are so ridiculous. I know when you need to lose weight it’s easy to be seduced by powdery delusions of grandeur and false promises, but sprinkling some of that shit on your food isn’t going to help you lose weight. If anything, it’s probably just working as cancer fertilizer.

    • Losing weight is hard as I am told there is a powder you can sprinkle on a person that makes them thin, angry, depressed, horny and broke as shit…it’s called cocaine;) thanks for the awesome comment!

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