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Hell On Earth For A Man

October 14, 2012

I have decided that working at a wedding dress store has to be hell on Earth, and quite possibly the worst job a man could ever have. Have you ever seen the TLC show Say Yes To Dress? If you have not, this is a reality show that depicts the horrors that an employee deals with in the apocalyptic nightmare that is a woman picking out her wedding dress. Women will lie to you and tell you choosing a wedding dress for that special day is a happy and joyous occassion…ignore this;) A woman or a group of women trying to decide on the perfect wedding dress is an exercise in futility, which is why men have absolutely no part in this process. Unless you happen to be one of the unlucky bastards, whose family has passed down the dress barn in their will. Hey, the money maybe good, but is it worth all the pain?Some of my tens of fans probably think that I am just being negative and maybe I am missing the point. Here are some reasons why a man selling wedding dresses must be hell on Earth.

Women spend the entire wedding dress process crying their eyes out…I don’t really know why but here are some examples when they cry.

  • The chosen dress looks so fantastic and the mystical journey has been complete.
  • The women realizes that she is not rich as shit and the reality hits her that she cannot afford a 25k dress.
  • The woman takes a look in the mirror and is struck with the realization that she has ballooned to over 3oo plus pounds.
  • If one of the 75 women that travel in the wolf pack disagree with the dress…Holy shit there will be tears. I just don’t get why women feel the need to bring 15 other ladies to be on the “wedding dress counsel”. You know Pam is going to be a heartless bitch about the whole process because she will be crying over her two failed marriages. Some chick will decide that today is a good day to rehash all their daddy issues.  This is usually followed by the women getting in a proverbial bitch fest, then you guessed it, they makeup followed by more crying;)

Women who have no style and usually wear Mickey Mouse hoodies, all of a sudden become fashion experts.

  • The experienced attendant who makes countless suggestions on what would look good, is usually dismissed as a dumbass. I mean the bride knows what works for her right;)
  • Women somehow all become Vera Wang when looking at wedding dresses.

Some women are fake and just pretend they are happy for their friends. Many are so self-centered and the only thought they have is how this marriage will affect their friendship. Women cannot remove themselves from the equation, they always have some negative shit to say. Or the opposite, they will just lie to you and tell you the dress looks good, just to be done with the situation. Maybe the wolf pack hates the groom and know how he really is, because chances are they have slept with him…lol. Where is the place to air all these grievances you ask? The GD dress shop!

Really to sell a wedding dress to a woman, you have to be a bit of a hostage negotiator. You must make concessions and give into their demands or some may pull the trigger on Bridezilla’s emotions. I know there are countless other reasons why working at a wedding dress shop must be hell on Earth for a man, hell maybe even a woman. Leave me a comment, do you have a take on this issue?!

 

 

 

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3 Comments
  1. You know, I am really impressed that you are a straight man and know who Vera Wang is.

    And this show is just appalling. The bride looked like she still looked to mom for approval and it makes me wonder if she was like this when the bride brought home the groom the first time? It’s a little cringe-worthy.

  2. To be honest with you, I don’t even know why they have people working as salespeople in wedding dress shops. There should just be a cashier up at the register who can get things out of the stock (do they have wedding dresses in stock?) and answer the phone, because these women think they know better than the employee anyway. I can’t understand why anyone would cry doing this, either. I’ve never tried on a dress and wanted to cry. The only reason you should be crying at a wedding dress store is when you see the price tag.

    • I cannot believe what they charge for these dresses…lol. I mean 10k for a dress or above! think of all the clothes you could buy with that, and let’s be honest no one passes these things down. Thanks for the comment and stopping by;)

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