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Gay Chickens?

July 24, 2012

THIS JUST IN!

In an unprecedented response to gay rights advocates, Chick-fil-A is refusing to serve gay chickens to its largely heterosexual Christian clientele. When asked why they were refusing to debeak and massacre countless little baby chicks, who happen to share an attraction for one another, a Chick-fil-A representative claimed that it is “not in God’s plan for humans to have to digest gay chickens. What if some of that gayness doesn’t pass through the body? Where does it go? Since you are what you eat, well . . . that’s just a scary thought. Look,” the Chick-fil-A representative sincerely stated, “we just want to protect our beloved customers from the possible ill side effects of eating these hormone-injected, and gay, chickens.”

When local Columbus resident Wilbur B. Bass was asked for his thoughts on not being able to partake of a juicy plump gay chicken breast, Ernest said, “Hell naw, I ain’t eaten’ no queer chicken! They need to just keep that to themselves. What with all them diseases they got.” Defending his position he continued, “I mean, look ya’ll, it ain’t that I’m homo-uh-uh-mobic, or whatever. I just don’t want to eat no chicken that likes guy on guy action. That just ain’t right.”

When informed that a male chicken is a rooster, and that the chickens one eats at Chick-fil-A are, by definition, female, Wilbur began to equivocate. “Well, now, you didn’t say nothing ’bout no lady chickens. I mean, I ain’t really got no problem with that.” Getting rather excited he exclaimed, “Hell, I say you gotta video that action then deep fry them sons-of-bitches!! Woo-woo!”

So you decide if you want hate nuggets or love nuggets next time you hit the Chick! Chances are Chick-fil-A will have no issue taking your straight or gay money for that matter. The choice is yours….My Pleasure.

That Is The Word.

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From → In The News

6 Comments
  1. Where do you get this stuff? Gay chickens? I wonder if that will be combo meal #2 – Gay Combo meal

  2. I knew If you would ever respond to a post it would be this one.

  3. Bryan permalink

    I wonder why these chickens choose to be gay??? I’m only going to eat good, god fearing chickens!

  4. awesome!!! maybe the chickens were born that way!

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