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109 Rooms…Why?

July 11, 2012

Former boxing great Evander Holyfield is moving out of his multimillion dollar mansion in metro Atlanta. Actually EH is getting kicked out because he owes more than 14 million dollars on the foreclosed mansion. Get this shit the mansion has 109 rooms…why? Why in the hell even if you had money would you want 109 damn rooms? I just don’t get that shit at all! To me being rich is one thing, being an out of touch meathead is quite another. Can you imagine having 35 bathrooms that you have never even took a shit in? This is the same shit that tends to get boxers and many professional athletes in trouble. Many professional athletes somehow piss away all their damn money. These cats live so lavishly and try to show off with every waking moment, eventually the money just runs out. This is a hard concept for me and the average American to grasp. When you read a dude has 109 room mansion, can you imagine the power bill alone…lol. The grounds have to be maintained, the chandelier in room number 74 needs to be dusted. Mansions have real life bills and expenses the bank does not give a shit who you use to be.

So if I were mega rich… here is a list of the items I would have to outshine Mr. Holyfield’s mansion. Some of these are unreasonable:)

  1. Fine naked women end tables…don’t worry they would take shifts
  2. A Mountain Dew Lake to swim/drink in.
  3. Kate Upton would be my car wash girl.
  4. I would not rent movies…I would make the real actors perform in front of me.
  5. I would make Nickelback be my yard men along with Octo moms 14 kiddos.
  6. I would own an I-Phone 10 with 8G
  7. My personal chef would be Gordon Ramsey
  8. I would make The Walking Dead kill Carl and Lori with an e-mail
  9. My Aston Martin would be painted primer grey…just because
  10. I would pay to clone Johnny Cash in the form of a singing dog.

From → In The News

  1. Meghan permalink

    I’d live like Ted Nugent! 😉

  2. For the record, #10 is my favorite..and if they can clone Dolly the Sheep, who wouldn’t want a good ol’ Black Johnny Cash Labrador…I sure would.

    As for #2 – I hope you have good friends, cause everyone I know at one time or another…has peed in the pool. I’m sure Urine Mountain Dew is not gonna be on the new flavors list…might wanna think on that one.

  3. Thanks for reading Falcon!

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