Top Reasons Spider Man Sucks
Let me just say that I have never been a huge Spider Man fan. I have always been confused why so many people actually like this guy. The main charter ole Peter Parker is pretty much a big pussy who got lucky and attained the spidey powers. Let us take a closer look at Peter’s powers, what can he really do beside swing around? The SOB is not tuff or really overly strong. All he can do is shoot spidery ejaculate at will outta his palms. Spider Man has hairy palms to get the super adhesion he always seems to have. There is an old legend of how guys get hairy palms…don’t know the answer? Just ask any man and he can probably tell you what hairy man palms represent. Since the new movie came out this week, I felt Spider Man was overdue for a reality check.
Top Reasons Spider-Man Sucks
- The costume is lame as hell…The dude look like a Mexican luchador with no package.
- After all that shit…did he ever even have sex with Mary Jane? If he did, describe what happens during climax;)
- Spider-Man let the 70’s Show guy and Sol from Pineapple Express whoop his ass.
- He could not even save Uncle Ben!
- Spider-Man takes pictures of himself and then sells those to a newspaper.
- Spider-Man’s favorite band is Nickelback.
- Spider-Man always seems like he wants to cry for some odd reason.
- Spider-Man could be killed by almost anything.
- The franchise is so tired…Toby McGuire would not even play Spider-Man again.