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This Dude Will Never Get Laid

April 18, 2012

So I was surfing the net this evening and I came across a video of a dude in Tokyo, who has spent the last 10 years of his life learning to run like a monkey. What can this monkey runner man teach us? Apparently the dude got shot because he was mistaken for an animal by a hunter…so that is one thing. I also thought that people who truly isolate themselves are either free as hell or they must be the loneliest people on earth. This man watches animal videos and attempts to mimic their styles. I mean, if you have time to learn shit like that, why not learn to talk to a girl? Maybe instead of flinging shit like monkeys do, he could apply himself and become a productive member of society. Maybe society does not need another productive member. We all wanted to be something as a kid, I wanted to be a bouncer and rip throats like Dalton in Roadhouse. There has to come a time, when we leave a dream behind and grow up…or do we? The poor monkey man is still living his dream. He is probably as we speak picking his ass with a leaf or something. My point is, I see people all day long that have cashed in their dreams, and I don’t think you have too. It is never too late to try something new, we only get one chance at this thing. So if you’re an extremely conservative person, try to loosen up a little if you want. There has to some fun in life, I really believe that. If you want to dress up like a pirate and go camping with a chick dressed like a dolphin, I say go for it. The monkey man will never get laid. The monkey man will most likely throw out his spine by the time he is 40, but so what. The SOB did it his way, and we gotta respect that. I think I may go work on my hillbilly claw hammer moves…keep the dream alive just in case. Run on monkey man!

The voiceover is priceless on this one. It makes the monkey man sound like he is white guy who sits around reading craft magazines.



From → DR.Mike

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