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Hey Mr. Naked Man

April 11, 2012

What the hell is it with these old naked guys at the gym? I know that men, god willing, will get older as life goes on. A man’s gut usually gets bigger, his hair will fall out, and his balls will just hang around his knees. I can accept all these things. What I cannot accept is completely checking my decency at the door. At least once a damn week, I see an old naked man at the gym. These seniors just walk around so cavalier while naked. It simply amazes me! Some of these old cats stand around butt ass naked combing their hair, take a bath in Old Spice, and take a naked shit on the toilet. The last is by far the worst offense. I have seen old naked men take drinks from the water fountain in the men’s locker room. For the record, you will not want a sip of water after that encounter. You definitely don’t want to stand behind them in line either. A naked man is usually friendly as hell, which is also kind of weird. These guys always have a friendly greeting and usually offer a smile. The strangest thing is you will never see these old bastards exercise. I really believe they just show up at the gym, strip down, and simply walk around naked in the locker room…that’s the workout. Unnecessary nudity is not always a good thing people, it can damage the eyes, and science has proven this fact. So do me a damn favor, you Jack Nicholson look-a-likes, put on a damn towel! I don’t want to see my future laughing at me in the present. Please have a little respect for the poor man in this country. Times are really bad, the last thing I need to see is a 70 year olds “Gandalf pubic hair” staring back at me. I swear if I ever have a son, he will never go into the men’s locker rooms. I have no idea what that could do to a kid, I am a grown man and this kind of scares the shit out of me. So cover your ass up old man…that is the word!

You're My Boy Blue

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From → What The Hell

2 Comments
  1. Mike,

    I have to hand it to you buddy…you write some close to the bone stuff but it’s also easily some of the funniest (gutt busting even) true to life reading I’ve seen anywhere. You can always count on “the word” from M.B.

  2. Thanks for reading Ben, hope all is well my friend! The local YMCA can be dangerous, people need the truth;)

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