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Danger A Woman’s Ass Can Kill

March 31, 2012

Can someone tell me why it is, when a woman takes a dump their asses literally explode? I personally lost a job one time long ago because I would not partake in the cleaning of a shit explosion in a ladies bathroom…but I digress. I was reminded of this incident this morning at the local Target. The ladies bathroom had a huge “Out of Order Sign” so that was clue number one. Clue number two came in the form of the horror, I witnessed on the buggy man’s face. Clue number three, was the mop and the cleaning cart of shame.  I have long wondered why women’s bathrooms have what seems to me to be, a damn lounge area? They do, I assume this is like a pre/post shit environment that helps to calm the nerves.  We all know ladies are mostly afraid to venture into the ladies bathroom without a friend. I always thought ladies traveled in packs for protection purposes. I mean, if I knew a “shit grenade” could go off at any time…I may take a friend too. I think, it must be the diet some chicks eat. Seems to me they combine many unlike foods that transform into a vicious combination. Have you ever seen the line for the ladies bathroom at a club? That line will be a damn mile long train of pain my friends…guaranteed. I also bet if you ask most women, they will always have a complaint about the bathroom.  It’s never clean enough for them, that is because women do not respect other women. Some ladies just shit all over the place, in an attempt to mark their territory;) They attempt to stink out all the other women, so that they may claim ultimate victory.

Let me be clear, I am not saying guys shit smells of roses and lilac. Guys can be pretty nasty too, but we hardly ever require the logistics of women. Guys will drop the hammer and just go about their merry way. We do not judge another man, we accept it. Men tend to not shit at work, unless they are older. Guys usually save the dump for home…not so with women. So if this offended you in any way, I apologize. Please keep in mind these are my rants/ my thoughts and that shit happens…that is the word!

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3 Comments
  1. Bryan permalink

    …Just to continue the rant… When at home, please close the door. I don’t want to see/talk to you while you are doing the deed. Also, if it’s an option, turn the exhaust fan on. If there is no exhaust fan, light a match! I keep a whole pack of them behind the can of Lysol which you should not be afraid to use eaither. Thanks for bringing this matter into the open Mike!!

  2. Meghan permalink

    Most of the time, maybe its like minded chicks of mine, we will go to the mens bathroom….for the very reason that apparently some chicks cant seem to hit the mark. The toilets are not the size of a preschool toilet and are built fairly large, so why is there is piss & shit all over the place??? I for one do not want to sit on a couch that smells like ass and hang out in there. They make mini cans of Lysol spray, it can fit in any over sized purse. I seem to be lost on this subject of why females do this…..

  3. Thanks Meghan at least you admit these rogue shitters are out and about.

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