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The Ab Belt

February 15, 2012

Who  wants abs? I do, I have wanted them for like a decade now. Now the experts will tell you diet and exercise are the best way to get abs, but who wants to do all that? All you apparently need is the Ab Belt. The Ab Belt is basically a WWE Championship belt that combines vibrator technology with good old fashion laziness. We are lead to belive, we can simply strap on the vibrating Ab Belt and achieve a world-class ab workout. By convulsing and simply making purging motions like a 12-year old with bulimia, you too can achieve abs! What people are seriously buying these pieces of shit? Hey, if you are dying to throw away 50 bucks…good news, I take donations. I am a sucker for infomercials, I hate to admit it. I can justify a Slap Chop or even those little skillet deals. Those products at least serve a purpose and can generate some actual tangible results. I feel the AB Belt is just not a safe buy. They also have the Ass Belt for the ladies. This Ass Belt goes around the ladies waist and will simply vibrate your fat ass off. This is not a joke people, they do make an Ass Belt. Here is an idea, get you and Ass Belt and two Shake Weights. Then you will have all the necessary equipment needed for a d-list porn career 😉 Feel free to steal that idea and make a “Porno Starter Kit Workout DVD”. If you hit it big, get it? Hit it big? Please remember Mikey B in a royalty check or two.

On a side note, take a good hard look at the ab models struggling with their daily ab routine. Every single person in the advertisement, already has abs. These ab models are simply a bunch of bastards. They are basically saying, I am already fine as hell but I need more abs! Does anybody out there have one of these things? Leave a comment, maybe I am wrong.

Boy she really needs the help

 

 

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2 Comments
  1. Chad D permalink

    Hey I just bought one, expecting it any day now. I can’t wait to drop 68 lbs, put on mussle mass, increase my sexual powraless, my skin softer and illuminate my gray hairs. Plus they offered me free mud flaps. I also bought 2 ladies ass belts, you never when one may spice the evening up; also you never know when she has a sister who likes to try new things.

  2. Thanks for stopping by Chad! I know what you mean, I just hope “They” create a testicle belt for me when I get older. Who wants to be the saggy ball guy? Not me sir.

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