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Weird Porno

February 3, 2012

Now, I know none of you fine people watch porn. I will come out and say I have seen one or  10,000 in my day. As Valentines Day approaches and some of you rush out to get the V-Day porno, I have a lifetime of astute observations to provide.  These are just things I find funny as hell in porno flicks. So for some this Top 10 list will be funny, for all the rest of the non porno watchers, trust me this shit happens in these. Just something to think about. Here is my Top 10 list of Weird Things In Porno Movies. Leave a comment If you can think of any funny stuff;)

Top 10 list of Weird Things In Porno Movies

  1. The dudes always keep their damn socks/tennis shoes on…really dude? Guess traction is key.
  2. They always have an intro…who cares where these people are from? These are all lies anyways, “I am 19″…bullshit sweatheart.
  3. Why do the dudes even talk? When they do, they are always like Russian accents and the shit just sounds funny! Ohh Jes Bobbay!
  4. The porno titles…always worth a laugh. My favorite is the “Pink Slip”.
  5. When the chick is semi worried about her clothes…really? Is that your real sexy secretary suit?
  6. Any porno with a plot. I guess if you want to watch the porno version of Superman, that is your call.
  7. The creepy voices of the guy with the camera…you know what I am talking about.
  8. When the dudes sweat like they just ran a 10k and the chick is bone dry. I just do not get that one.
  9. How the hell do these dudes last more than 3 minutes in these scenes.
  10. The music…porn with a soundtrack. No Thanks!

Bonus:

*Why are women surprised when some of these chicks could be models?

* Why do some dudes complain about fake vs real? To me that is like bitchin about the difference in a prime rib and a fillet…Have a great Friday Night Kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes she is in porno...not a model;)

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From → Movies

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