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2012 Gym Rules Part 2

January 17, 2012

So as I am sure all of you remember, last year one of my first posts was on my proposed gym rules for 2011. I am pretty proud of that post, and I think it had some spot on advice for the masses. So as I see all the do-gooders getting started this year, and the fact it’s Tuesday(Biggest Loser Night) I am doing a 2012 version.  So here are some quality tips for you kids. We can all work out, without pissing off every other person at the gym.

Gym Rules 2012

  1. Stop your damn yelling… I don’t need to hear your “man screams”. If you cannot pick up a weight or do a set of exercises, without scaring the shit outta everyone else, stop. These noises usually sound like a really painful orgasm…nobody wants one of those;)
  2. Leave your damn milk jug at home…nobody needs a whole damn gallon of water just to get through one workout. Let’s be honest, most people workout for a little over an hour. So that means just buy a regular bottle, like the rest of America. Milk Jug = D-Bag
  3. Dudes wear shirts with sleeves…I don’t give a shit about seeing your muscles, you don’t impress me. Who are you trying to impress anyways? The dudes in the gym? You will not see Jay Z walking around handing out damn bank statement business cards. So just wear a t-shirt like the rest of us.
  4. Ladies keep your thong inside your pants…especially if your fat and or fine. I can’t concentrate with a hard on if your workout involes a thong out. I also cannot get a hard on if all I see is your ass cleavage, sticking out on the larger ladies.
  5.  Parents keep your kids outta the “Big Boy Room”, if you are not with them. You won’t catch me running around like a jackass at Chuck E Cheese, tying up the kids shit. So show the rest of us the same respect.
  6. What up with your damn huge ass luggage bag o shit? Leave that damn thing at home, and yes it makes you look like a d-bag. Betcha this is the milk jug guy;)
  7.  Stop making love to yourself in the mirror while lifting…guys and ladies that do this just creep me out. ” I am just checking my form”, Bullshit Amigo.
  8. Rack your weights…look I don’t want to clean up after you!
  9. Stop lubing the equipment with wipes…one or two will do the trick. There is no need to give the machine a “Cleaning Hand Job”, just move along.
  10. This is a personal one. To the guy  who asks me if I am using the machine, when my ass is on it. Do me a favor and go to Hell…that is the word.

What gym is this?

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3 Comments
  1. tcbailey123 permalink

    I pick things up and I drop them,,, I pick things up and I drop them. Those creepy bulking yelling dudes freak me out too.

  2. You know, I had to look for your gym posts and they’re really kind of funny. I’m glad I don’t have roiders at my gym. They are all pretty nice people. I’ll have to do a post on what I call the “Five Boyfriends”. I would love to hear if you have some of these at your gym. They make me laugh.

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