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The Most Useless Thing

January 12, 2012

While I was walking around the grocery store this evening, I saw a man purchasing the most useless thing, I could ever think of. The man was buying those Miller Lites with the screw on cap…have no doubt this is the most useless thing. When was the last time you ever only drank half a beer? When was the last time you ever wanted to save the last half of a lukewarm tasteless beer such as Miller/Coors Lite? I think having a beer with a screw on cap, maybe the worst thing to ever happen to beer. I also have another question for Coors Lite, did your market research prove that most beer drinkers are dumb as shit? The reason I ask, is that Coors Lite thinks I am not capable of determining temperatures. Thank You Coors Lite, but I can tell when my beer is cold.  I can also tell when grease in a fryer is hot and shit stinks. I do not need your advanced beer bottle technology, to make me aware my beer is cold. If you cannot drink a whole beer or determine if the beer in question is cold, then you have no business drinking the damn thing! To be honest I am really not sure why people even purchase Lite beers to begin with. The math is simple, if the lite beer has 120 calories and you drink 7 of them. That is just as bad as drinking four quality beers…so why not do that? Look I am not against cheap beers. I am against the lite beer tap water flavor some of these companies are pumping out these days, calling it lite beer. Don’t be fooled, these fancy bottles are just shadow games made to trick you into how bad the beer actually is. So man up America, if you open a beer, drink the whole beer.

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From → What The Hell

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