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Hey Mr. Night Runner

December 29, 2011

Hey, Mr. Night/Early morning runner that frequents the main roads…get off the damn road! This also means all the old men who think they are training to be Lance Armstrong. I go to gym, and I like to get my cardio in as much as the next guy. What I don’t feel the need to do is go for a midnight run with a bike helmet and skin-tight reflective man panties.  These dudes even put a freaking flashlight on their helmet and ass, so you think they are like escaped coal mine workers running down the street…lol. You have seen these guys, they run like 6 feet away from the curb…not really in the middle of road, but still in the damn road. They can manage to position their asses just slightly in the road…so you have to slow down to keep from killing them. They have no problem running down the damn road, completely oblivious to the cars and the world around them. That is right, nothing will stop Mr.Night Runner from getting that midnight cardio session in. What’s is sad is if you were to hit one of these poor bastards…you may go to jail! I feel like if you didn’t purposefully position your ass in the road in the first place. You could help your chances of getting killed by a 16-year-old girl going down the subdivision road jamming to Kesha, in her daddy’s BMW. Let us be honest here, how many of these dark knight athlete’s actually look in good shape? Just go to the park and run, where it is safe. Please don’t get me wrong, go forth and exercise. Just try not to get killed or enrage a swarm of transporters while you get your cardio in…that is the word Night Runner!

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