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Twilight Fans Rejoice…I still have Questions

November 19, 2011

Most of you die hards have already skipped Granny’s funeral for the movie. I know, I know it’s that important. The new Twilight movie looks like it is going to be breaking all kinds of premier records. I have a few funny questions that I need answered. I have seen two of three movies and pretty much get the gist. So maybe some one who follows the series can help me out. Here Goes

1. What do the vampires do when Ms. B hits the monthly rag?

2. When Ms. B gets pregnant, what comes out those mosquito bite nipps? Does the baby drink blood or milk?

3. Does Edward sparkle all over???? Do they show that in the sex scene.

4. How come there are no black vampires? I believe in equality.

5. If the vampires can run so damn fast, why do they drive luxury cars.

6. In the old days, did the family hook up with one another? I always said if I was Edward I would be  hooking up with the blond in the family.

7. Do vampires still shit? I mean they are dead, if they do whats that all about? Like a big hairy shit, kinda of a turn off.

8. Why do chicks scream when the wolf takes off his shirt before he transforms?

9. Why would a wolf give a shit about taking off his shirt before he transformers? I mean is he a wolf with no money for clothes.

10. Are there any beer drinking Irish wolves? I would be down for that, like a rival clan that just drinks all the time and goes around pissing on stuff…count me in!

So if anyone can provide some insight into any of these, please feel free. Have fun with it leave a comment, you don’t have to provide your e-mial….Coming up later my tribute to Tim Tebow.

 

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