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Stop With The Damn Singing Already

October 24, 2011

It’s Monday night and once again there is nothing to watch on TV. Let me tell you a frustration that I have with America and its television programming. Why they hell do we have so many damn singing shows. Am I the only one who hates these damn shows? The contestants are basically no talent glorified karaoke singers. It started with American Idol and now we have like 6 damn singing shows. People love Glee and the X factor, but if you are honest with yourself these shows suck. The dudes usually are like chubby guys with weird facial hair that try to talk all sexy and shit. The women tend to cry and just shake the whole damn show, before and after eliminations. I have decided to do a Top 10 list tonight of shit you see on every dance/singing show, in an effort to get you fine people to quit watching.

  1. On Idol if you are number 3 on the phone line, these cats flash 3 fingers like they are flashing damn gang signs for an album cover.
  2. Everyone’s got a bullshit story…You mean to tell me every contestant has a homeless mom and a little brother with Parkinson’s? I am not buying it!
  3. No matter who it is, it is someones idol/hero…Really Billy Joel is your hero? You are like 13, shut the hell up!
  4. They dress like 12-year-old Gap Models.
  5. They never sing a song that has any political overtones other than pro America. Sure you will hear God Bless the USA, but you will not hear Rage Against the Machine’s “Killing In the Name Of”‘…great song by the way.
  6. Every show has a British Judge, ask yourself why? When did Prince Harry’s butler become the authority on good music?
  7.  They always hug each other, like they genuinely give a shit when they’re eliminated.
  8. Every show they use the phrase “This has been my dream.”
  9. Does anyone write a song or play and instrument?
  10. On Idol those commercials they do for the Ford cars…lol. These poor bastards have to jump around a car wash spraying hoses at each other and playing in the bubbles…and they are like 35-year-old dudes.

That is my take, let me know why you love these shows. I just don’t get it…that is the word!

 

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