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Holy Sh*t!…New Twilight Posters Released

September 10, 2011

Great News kids on this Saturday morning, the new Twilight Breaking Dawn posters have officially been released. Only in the U.S. do I see a two front page stories, one about the remembrance of 9/11 and the other one on the release of these new T3 posters. I know everyone has their guilty pleasures in life, I like watching re-runs of Roadhouse and Diehard…can we be real for a moment? When have you walked away from one of these shitty movies, if you’re not 13 years-old, and thought damn that was a good movie. I for one am sick of these damn no talent actors, and this series. This lone piece of shit has spawned countless low rate spin offs, and we keep coming back. I have always said, this whole damn series is based on  Dawson’s Creek if you think about it. We have a northeast coastal setting, about a love triangle between teens who appear to be 30…same shit different day. I am sure many of you have read the books, so let me ask these questions. I shamefully say, I have had to watch 2 of these movies, these are my observations…I need answers.

  1. What happens when Bella hits the monthly rag? Armageddon
  2. Where does Jacob shit when he is a wolf-man? In the woods, or does he change back?
  3. If these kids are SO old, how come they don’t have any cool shit from the past. Mr. Eddie should have a 70 Cutlass with a 442 and Uncle Ted on the 8-track.
  4. Why do they look like they are going to orgasm all over themselves when they see each other?
  5. Why do the wolves always take their shirts off? I mean your a GD wolf just rip the shit, or maybe they do care about the AE fall line of t-shirts.
  6. Don’t you think any of the Lost Boys could kick Mr. Eddie’s ass?

More to follow, more people to offend…gimme some feedback Twilight fans.

I think I just jizzed my pants...not again

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