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Poor Gary

August 17, 2011

Many of you watch or at one time have watched the hit MTV show Teen Mom. There is a broken man on this show, that makes me weep on the inside. I am referring to the 19-year old man whale know as Gary. Gary is a young fugly man, with a bitchin girlfriend and a minivan. If you’re not a huge fan of the show, Gary is easy to find he is the man that looks like a chick who is 9 months pregnant, at all times. I have never really seen “reality” come for a man at such a young age. This poor bastard reminds me of a really sad Bruce Springsteen song. Every show is pretty much the same, Gary is  usually sulking around doing one of two things. Gary is either getting his ass whipped by Amber , or crying ,”I don’t want to be alone Amber”. The funniest part of the show is Gary’s T-Shirts. Gary has a collection of Abercrombie/Aeropostale T-shirts that are just screaming at the seams, it’s hell when your poor t-shirts have stretch marks. These poor T-Shirts look like when you have a 13 gallon trash bag and you put 50 pounds of trash in the damn thing. Gary usually drives a mini-van around town back and forth from his trailer to Amber’s trailer. Amber is a 2 who thinks her ass is a 10 most days. Let this be a lesson to all young high school boys. If it comes down to getting with a chick like Amber, you are better off staying home on Friday nights for Cinemax…if you know what I mean. If you see this poor,poor man please do not buy him a double Whopper, buy him a beer instead. Go home and thank the Lord your life is no where close to the hell, this guy goes through….that’s the word.

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From → On Tv

One Comment
  1. Christie permalink

    “I am referring to the 19-year old man whale know as Gary.”

    Oh, that line made me almost pee in my pants!!! You know Aeropostale has asked him to stop wearing their clothing! (See the link below!)
    His shirts kill me. All the money you know MTV is giving them and he can’t buy a bigger shirt?

    http://starcasm.net/archives/115837

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