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Pawn Stars

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I know, I am not the only person who has seen the surge of TV show that show people negotiating a price for an item. Only to bend over and just get screwed on National television…it drives me nuts! Take your pick Pawn Stars, Storage Wars, Cajun Pawn and countless others always portray people/actors with no backbone making shitty deals. You know what I am talking about!

Example:  3 men (The Buyer, The Seller, The Expert)

Expert: This is the bullet that killed President Kennedy. I say this is worth at least 25 k. This should be in a museum, really it’s priceless.

The Buyer: What do you want for it?

The Seller: How bout 17k

The Buyer: I will give you 3oo bucks

The Seller: WoW that is a lot of money…can you do 350?

The Buyer: I can do 300 bucks and a Captain D’s fish basket…best I can do

The Seller: Ok…Sold

Ever seen this show? It just kills me that people need cigarette money so bad that they just cash out for nothing.  I refuse to believe this kind of stuff happens in real life. I have faith in my fellow-man that they would not bow to such foolishness. If life were this easy, we would all be rich.

Just remember in life and in business, someone is always going to try to get over on you…Stand your ground! You can give but don’t break! As soon as another person knows that they have the upper hand and you are comfortable being the victim…game over. It goes without saying but do not be afraid to walk away from a shitty deal…That is The Word!

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Songs They Will Play In Hell

You ever wonder what songs they will play if you happen to go to Hell? Well, you have come to the right place! I can tell you that the devil is a sick bastard and he will be getting his seven chuckles by ear raping you in the afterlife. I think the devil had a claw/hand/hoof in creating many of these song gems and he would like nothing more than to “let her play” over and over again in the afterlife. With the recent Boston bombings and the indecision of what to do with bomber number one, this post just feels right tonight. I hope they get some mega Beats audio headphones in hell for the sick bastard who bombed those innocent folks. So here is The Word’s Top 10 Songs they play in hell.

Top 10 Songs They Will Play In Hell…plus five more

  1. “We Built This City” – Starship
  2. “Take On Me” – A-ha
  3. “Moves Like Jagger” – The Bastard 5
  4. “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” – Wang Chung
  5. “Accidental Racist” – Brad Paisley and LL Cool J
  6. “Gangnam Style” – By Psy
  7. “Fancy” – Reba
  8. “Open Arms” – Journey
  9. “Annie’s Song” – John Denver
  10. “Who Let The Dogs Out” – Baja Men
  11. “Macarena” – Los Del Rio
  12. “Ninja Rap” – Vanilla Ice
  13. “If Today Was Your Last Day”- Nickeback ( Any song by Nickelback could be played in hell for the record)
  14. “Party In Hell” – Miley Cyrus
  15. “I’m To Sexy” – Right Said Fred

Bonus:

“Big Green Tractor” – Jason Aldean

Welcome To Hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tebow Time Will Never End;)

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Rejoice Tebow haters, for today you have won. The black hole of shit that is the New York Jets franchise released Tebow earlier this morning and Tebow haters had a GD field day with the jokes…I don’t think you folks know who the hell you’re dealing with.  Tim Tebow is a great American hero, and its high time you just accept it. Tebow will not fade quietly into the night…Tebow will bust a cap of happiness into all the doubters out there, you just wait and see. Ole Timmy was never even given a chance in New York under the human whale know as Rex Ryan. Ryan is still busy finger popping Sanchez’s ass in the locker room, while both these dudes continue to collect checks for one more season. So even thought today is a sad day…keep your head up Tebow!

Man when life gets you down and your back is against the wall make it “Tebow Time”. Tim Tebow facts that you may or may not know;)

  1. Pressure Doesn’t work well under Tim Tebow.
  2. Tim Tebow can re-cite the entire Bible in Arabic.
  3. Tim Tebow doesn’t play…he just wins.
  4. Tim Tebow’s tears can be used as Holy Water…fact.
  5. Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Tim Tebow stories.
  6. Did you know Tim Tebow had a role in Star Wars?…He was the force!
  7. Tim Tebow won American Idol using only sign language.
  8. Tim Tebow protects his body guards.
  9. Tim Tebow has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear is not dead it’s just too afraid to move.
  10. Tim Tebow could date your sister and mom at the same time…and your dad would still shake his damn hand.
  11. Chuck Norris had a son he never knew…His name was Tim Tebow!!!

 

Best Morgan Freeman Movie (MF MF movies!)

Morgan-Freeman

So the new Tom Cruse/MF MF movie Oblivion is sure to be a smash this weekend but the question is what is the best Morgan Freeman movie? This shit is kinda tuff let me tell you. I have watched a ton of MF MF movies and I think that I have the answers. So read my list, feel free to break it down or add your favorites but just know this, MF MF approves this list! Apologies ahead of time but MF MF intros or commercials don’t count.:0

Top 10 MF MF Movies

  1. Shawshank Redemption
  2. Seven
  3. Lean On Me
  4. Glory
  5. Unforgiven
  6. Wanted
  7. Robin Hood:Prince Of Thieves
  8. Street Smart
  9. Million Dollar Baby
  10. Driving Ms. Daisy
  11. Batman Begins/Dark Knight

Worst MF MF Movies:

  1. Dreamcather
  2. Chain Reaction
  3. The Sum Of All Fears
  4. Hard Rain
  5. High Crimes

Don’t Be An Asshole

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Do you know what you call people who when you mistakenly call them and hang up, they call you back with a “Who is this?” I call them assholes. Shit happens sometimes in life. You will dial a phone number wrong. A person may accidentally butt dial or fat finger a number on the phone keypad, we have all been there right? I also bet that each of you have felt the wrath of a supposed scorned caller on the other end. These people must be lonely as shit, let me tell you! They see a strange number on the phone, pick it up, and then hear the tone expire.

What do they do then????

Could this call have been from three Victoria’s Secret Models, who are looking for a threesome at 3pm in the afternoon on a Tuesday? Could this call be from Obama to ask about their opinions on gun control laws? Maybe this was a call from the high school prom queen who would never give your ass the time of day way back when….only one way to find out right? Yep, they call you back and ask “Who is this?” or “Someone called me from this number”. These people are born investigators, they will not let shit slide. The shit heads who pull this tactic always sound like they can barely speak English or they just got done having sex with a Nancy Grace sex doll;) Then you must shamefully admit fault, by acknowledging your grievous error. Only then can the wronged  d-bag cope with the possibility that the GD world does not center around them. The call back is apparently essential for closure purposes. I can only imagine how these people get through the day with all these “strangers” calling them and not wanting to be friends or tennis partners. I just assume that they have all the time in the world, if you have the time/nerve to call me back, I will lie. “Hey buddy! You called me, who is this?” I will reverse the trick on yo ass and play Sherlock Holmes mind games on you.

So if you get a wrong number calling your phone, either ignore it or pick it up. If the person on the other end has made a mistake, acknowledge the mistake and move the hell on. Don’t be an asshole…That Is The Word!

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